To Turn Up or Not to Turn Up!

Most of us have an Instagram (IG) account, and we use it to express ourselves. We post funny memes, pics of family, pets, places we’ve traveled to, words of inspiration, etc. IG opens our lives to the public to a certain degree. Public meaning whomever you choose to allow access to your photos unless your feed is public of course. And this tool as well as other social media tools in general provides us a small glimpse in to the personal lives of the people around us.

Some of us love to post pics and videos in the gym (guilty), some of us love to be comedians with memes we create or screen grab from another person we follow (guilty again) and some of us like to IG floss (post pics with wads of money, cars, houses, jewelry etc.). All of this is good as long as you don’t mind the comments some people may have.

Courtesy of Elite Daily

Let’s focus on some specific pics, the infamous “Turn Up” pics. And here is where we may ruffle the feathers of some family and friends. NOW LET ME BE THE FIRST to admit, I have posted pics with a drink in my hand at the club with the caption “TURN UP TIME”. Did I have a few too many and post a drunk pic? ABSOLUTELY! Does it happen every weekend? No it does not.

[su_box title=”Quick Background on Me” style=”noise” box_color=”#0c034f” radius=”10″]Quick background on me: 36 years old not married, but I got my wifey at home. No kids. I did my fair share of clubbing in my teens and 20s. I’m talking about 4 sometimes 5 days a week so I’m a little tired at 36! For me going to clubs is a little different these days. With my lady having two boys who are both in their 20s (my lady is 42 years old by the way and if you see her you will realize that she looks really good for 42!), it’s a weird feeling for me to go out and be surrounded by people who are the same age as my lady’s two sons.[/su_box]

Now I don’t have a problem with going out once in a blue to have a few drinks with friends. At my age, hanging with friends is a kind of luxury since most of my friends have families and careers. Life just naturally seems to take over. We evolved from the guys always at the club and “turning up” in our 20s to spending time with our families in our 30s and 40s. Buying houses, going on nice vacations and taking kids to some type of activity took precedence. It’s the natural evolution of things, in my eyes anyway.

Courtesy of Hot97

Some of my people don’t see it that way, and my question is, “Why?” Not saying you have to stay home all the time. If you have a child and you are in your 30s and 40s and spent most of your teens and 20s clubbing and “turning up”, shouldn’t you be past the turn up stage? Even if you don’t have children, doesn’t the club every night begin to tire after so many years. Is it necessary to pop bottles every week or every day for that matter?

Now my boys and I were never the type to “pop bottles” anyway, and yes, I know some people may view us as “broke, hating niggas.” I can assure you neither are the case. My friends and I have always worked, lived on our own and held our own. We definitely could have chipped in 150$-250$ a piece and “balled out,” but we could never bring ourselves to do it. What for? To show people we had VIP status and ratchets running over to drink for free. We just couldn’t find a way to justify paying $300 for a bottle that realistically was $30. That’s one hell of a mark up! And why are you in the club all the time anyway? Are you a promoter, club owner or DJ? And being the bottle service girl doesn’t count.

Those photos you post where you are in the club every night are entertaining. Thank you but then we get one random photo of you with your son or daughter out of the hundreds of you getting ready to party. And

Courtesy of Instagram

we wonder, “where is this kid most of the time if you are always in the club?” You are so busy creating the IG persona that focuses on you getting “turnt up” and looking Instafamous. Keep building your Instafame because in a few months or couple of years someone new will Instareplace you.

For my people who have young kids, I know you feel the financial impact of having a child in 21st century. With the public school system in the state that it is, do you want to enroll your child in the public school system? Some of us do not have a choice, but for those that like to ball out every week, have you seen what the tuition is to some of these Montessori schools?  Not to mention the competition to even gain entrance to some of these private schools. it’s CRAZY! So wouldn’t you think that instead of turning up every week you would take the time to save some of that bottle money?

Kids need other things as well. They need clothes, food and most importantly your time. Look I have no problem with people enjoying their lives. Just think of the long-term impact and not only the financial side of things. Physically, kids WEAR YOU OUT! I can’t speak for anyone else but by 10-11 pm I’m beat, and I have no kids. I can’t imagine having the energy & focus it takes to care for, play with, educate, talk to and manage the day-to-day it takes to raise a child with a hang over or on 2 hours sleep.

Courtesy of Meme Crunch

I’m not trying to judge anyone. Live your life however you see fit. Keep in mind though that the little person that walks around your home will eventually view you and your actions as role models. Please teach her/him something more than “Mommy/ Daddy will be back” or “Daddy is going to get turnt up” or “Mommy got a new outfit for Thursday, Friday and Saturday. If s/he sees mommy and daddy always getting ready to go out to the club they are going to eventually want to do the same right? If they hear you talking about how you got turnt up all weekend at the club, they are going to want to do the same. Don’t flip out when your daughter or son is 15-16 and is trying to get in to whatever the hot spot is at the time.

Back to the financial side please keep in mind that same little one that eats a couple of cans of baby food a day will at some point be eating as much as you, that costs money! The cute little UGGS and Jordans you have no problem buying today for $50-$60 will eventually cost $150 and up! Being in the club partying with your friends is part of our lives, but once we have families, we need to re-evaluate how we spend. Is looking the part of the flosser so much more important than keeping your house and finances in order or even saving for a house.

Remember that in these economic times anything can happen. You can turn up for less and spend more time with your family and/or exploring what’s out in this world besides the club and VIP.

[su_quote cite=”Omar Little of The Wire”]”Money ain’t got no owners, only spenders.”[/su_quote]

So turn up wisely!

One thought on “To Turn Up or Not to Turn Up!

  1. I agree with this blog 100%. I actually gave up “Turning Up” 4 years ago when I was well into my 30’s already. At 36 with 4 kids, turning up for me means movies and a blanket with the hubby and kids! I lived a crazy life, all choices I’ve made on my own. I must say I do NOT regret 1 moment of any day in my life as those were experiences that made me who I am today. I’ve learned a lot from my “Turning it up” days. I tried going out back in August to a lounge with some girlfriends to celebrate one of their birthdays and by midnight I was so tired from absolutely NOTHING!
    I look at some of the girls I used to hang out with now, and they are still out there getting high and drinking their lives away. I see them and say “Damn, that was me?!” and realize how disgusting I was and how grotesque they are!! Now these women are older than me as I rarely associate with anyone younger than my age. But to know that they have no ambition to fix their lives and for them the highlight of their life is a Friday and Saturday night sniffing an 8 ball in the women’s bathroom, smoking someone else’s cigarettes and having random dudes buy them drinks cause they spent their last $50 on coke at the Portuguese or Cabana bar. Then they brag about it on IG or FB about how Turnt up they were. Smh…thank God for eye openers and people who are willing to open their eyes.
    My turn up days are gone. Being home for me is a pleasure that I would hate being taken away from me. My kids are a joy, they make me laugh and my Hubby is an idiot but I wouldn’t have him any other way. I guess that’s as turnt up as I will get. Amen!
    Turning up is a whole new thing in an entirely different era.

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